I have been introspective lately…self-evaluating, you could say--thinking mostly about who I am: What do I contribute to the world, to my family, to myself. What direction is my life going? What more can I do?
I often question my motivations. Are they pure? Why did I do that? Did I really mean what I said or was I just trying to appease someone? What truly drives me? Am I actively concerned for the welfare of others because of pure charity or am I selfishly seeking attention and praise?
The following words come to mind as I seek for my ideal self:
“Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love; every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty to an ideal; every unselfish devotion to principle; every helpfulness to humanity; every act of self control; every fine courage of the soul, undefeated by pretense or policy, but by being, doing, and living of good for the very good’s sake—that is spirituality."
David O. McKay
Go ahead, say it: "Joan, you are overly analytical. You think too much!"
Okay, fine. Humor me for a minute, though while I am lost in my nebulous thoughts...
10 comments:
Joan - I am a little late on posting about this, but your arms look absolutely amazing in that picture a few posts back. What do you do to get them to look like that? It looks like you guys had a fun trip. And I loved that quote by David O. McKay. Thanks so much for sharing.
I had a conversation with a friend of mine a while ago about this exact thing. She was having trouble with someone close to her, and felt like whatever she tried didn't make it better. And it made me think, "do treat 'difficult' people kindly because I hope that it will change the situation, or do I treat them kindly because THAT is the kind of person I am?" One of my favorite talks of all time is by Elder Oaks, "The Challenge to Become." And that's what it centers on--what you have BECOME will matter more in the end than your achievements...
Thanks for your thoughts:)
I just want to say that in my world, you are a happy spot. Always.
And I think it's good to wax introspective now and again.
Miss you.
well you just showed me how to leave a comment, and now you are making me leave one. . . :) So glad we are hanging out. It has been way to long since I have had my "Maronie" time. LOVE YOU. Love Hellie
I really miss getting to hear about what's going on in your head every night. Take me back in time just for a minute. Man oh man I am so glad you guys made the trip to BL because it was SO fun to spend time with you and B and your scrumptious boys. Thanks for your PURE introspective thoughts.
ps-i am really tempted to delete your comment on my blog though. i have almost clicked delete a few times. Joan, that's embarrassing.
Hi Joan. I'd say we're cut from the same cloth...very literally perhaps :) Lucky me.
I've been searching to find the same answers. This thought has stayed with me for many years - since Tan shared it with me in a letter while I was wandering the streets of So. Chile:
"if you want to increase your spirituality, purify your motives."
-some great mind (neuenschwander, i think)
love you,
nate
I'm with you Joan. I don't know that I'm analytical, but I do tend to think too much on stuff and a lot of times it just frustrates the crap out of me because your faults just seem to jump out when you pay attention. I'm impressed though that you are so willing to look so closely at such unnerving questions. Motives are a bit scary.
Joan, you make me laugh. This is SO YOU. I have always felt like you are so naturally introspective- it is a wonderful quality - one I wish more people had. I think to myself,
"Seriously? How do they sleep at night? Do they ever just lie awake thinking, 'I am not a very good person'....because they should! But noooooo! They don't think about themselves at all...they're too busy judging and hurting other people."
This is the OPPOSITE of you, so much so that you are the last person on earth in need of these moments of reflection, cuz hunnie, you've mastered it already.
It's something I love about you.
I can just see your cute Joanie eyes lost in a momentary trance, totally over-analyzing your every comment made during a visiting teaching conversation or something.
Lol.
I need more of it, I feel like I am always indirectly offending and hurting people with my intense views on everything - ranging from abortion to the benefits of soy vs dairy.
Rae
OH MY GOSH I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING ABOUT THE CAKESTERS!!! It is sooooooooo true. You love them/you overeat them/ you hate them. Unfortunately, the cycle repeats after you've waited about a month.
I love that you love to eat with me! It seems to be a common bonding thread with all of my girlfriends. Sad really, because I assumed everyone loves to eat/eat/eat....but everyone loves to eat/eat/eat only with ME!! I don't know, I just have this, "Have at it aura" that helps a girl feel free to get FAT. Not a good thing.
We will most definitely have a Cafe Rio/ Oreo Cakester/ Wendy's late night binge in the future, count on it! I'm not done with you yet!
RAe
Just thought I should tell you that I think you are definately one of my most favorite person!! I absolutely LOVE spending time with you and best of all Brian does too. Lets have more game nights soon love you. LOVE SMELLY:-)
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