BOYZ

The day of Benson's birth: the boys meeting their new brother.

From the beginning everyone told me, "This one is going to be a girl. You've been so sick and the pregnancy has been different for you, it has to be a girl." I agreed with them all on some level. This pregnancy has been entirely different. My first three pregnancies I felt nauseous but never threw up...except once with Benson. This time I've been SO sick and inconsistently sick: one week I threw up three and four times a day every day and the next week I threw up once or twice during the week and was just nauseous for the rest. 

So its no surprise that when Brandon and I went to get an ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, I kept thinking, "Yep, it's going to be a girl." 

I honestly never really believed it though. It just didn't resonate with me. It's not like I was certain it was a boy either. I just didn't buy the fact that it was a girl. 
When the ultrasound tech finished up all her measurements she started her search to find out the gender. When I saw as clear as day that is was a boy I said, "Well, we've certainly seen one of those before!" Brandon was astonished and kept saying, "No way?!?" I laughed and felt happy inside.

The night before the ultrasound I had this horrible feeling. I woke up at 3:30am crying and was just certain that the baby was not alive. I couldn't remember the last time I felt him kick and it frightened me (totally paranoid pregnant brain talking). I knew that I was likely just being silly but the sadness and uncertainty overwhelmed me. 
I think I was SO relieved to see a strong heartbeat at the appointment that I completely forgot about the gender.

We are genuinely thrilled to have a FOURTH SON! What an honor and a blessing! Not that I wouldn't be equally thrilled with a girl...I would. I think the novelty of having a daughter is equivalent to the crazy, fun, madness of having four boys. 
I find myself daydreaming about this baby and what it will be like to hold him for the first time. There is nothing quite so tender and blessed as the birth of a new baby. 

I am 20 weeks now...so half way there!